One Notch Above Whatever’s Expected#
Why one notch and not three#
Go too far above the room and you look like you’re trying, or worse, like you’re showing someone up. Default to the lowest common denominator and you disappear.
One notch is the comfortable spot in between. If everyone’s in polos, wear a polo with a sport coat or a cardigan over it. If it’s button-downs, a soft blazer. You’re better dressed than average and nobody’s looking at you funny.
The nice thing about the rule is it works anywhere, because it’s relative. You don’t need to memorise dress codes — you just need to notice the room.
The easy upgrades#
- Wear a collar. Before the 1950s T-shirts were underwear, which is a fact I think about more than I should. Going from a tee to a polo costs you no comfort at all. An Oxford cloth button-down or a linen shirt goes further.
- Wear a mechanical watch. Most men wear a fitness tracker or nothing, so this stands out immediately. Not because anyone needs you to tell the time — it just reads as someone who pays attention. Seiko, Hamilton, or Timex will do it. A Rolex isn’t the point.
- Get into leather and suede. Both have a grown-up quality that’s hard to fake. A good jacket in either works over a polo or a button-down, with jeans or chinos, with boots or sneakers. Worth not going cheap here — buy once and it lasts.
- Skip the stretchy trousers. The Lululemon-style dress trousers don’t hang the way cotton, linen, wool or denim do, and the price doesn’t change that. Those four have been the standard for a long time for a reason.
The part people skip#
Here’s the bit I think matters most and gets the least attention: you have to make occasions for this.
If you wait for a black tie event you’ll wear the good stuff twice a decade. The alternative is building a life that has more of these moments in it — booking somewhere slightly nicer than usual, dressing up for a date night with someone you’ve been with for years, being the person at your congregation who always wears a suit.
That sounds like a style tip and it isn’t really. It’s more about arranging your life so the version of you that dresses well has somewhere to go.
Hair counts too#
It’s easy to sort the clothes and ignore the thing directly above them.
The advice is mostly to stop chasing whatever’s current — fades, mullets, whatever’s next — and pick something classic that suits the shape of your face. A side part, a crew cut, something slicked back. Then use product, consistently. Matte tends to work for most situations now; oil-based pomade if you want something more old-fashioned.
A few small things to try#
- Before your next thing out, ask what everyone else will wear, then go one step up
- Swap one tee for a polo this week and see if you notice a difference in how you’re treated
- Book something slightly nicer than you normally would, and dress for it
- Pick a haircut you could keep for ten years
